Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. (1992)
Runtime: 87 min
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Estelle Getty
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 4%
Lifetime Box Office Gross: $28.4M domestic, $42.2M foreign
Budget: $45M (HOW!!!!?????)
I went into this movie knowing how bad it was going to be, I have to make that clear from the start. The reasons I chose this movie are: it's short, it's stupid, and there is currently about a foot and a half of snow outside and I didn't want to think too hard. Also, I recently listened to the "How did this get made?" podcast episode on it. If you've never listened to this podcast I suggest you check it out. Every week they watch a bad movie, talk about and make fun of it. It's hilarious. I'm not as funny, so bear with me.
The plot(if you can call it that) of this movie is that Sly is a cop, his mom(Estelle Getty) is the worst, she witnesses a murder, and they team up to bring down a gun smuggling bad guy. I'll give you some time to scratch your head or palm your forehead. I suggest the latter. This movie feels like Beverly Hills Cop smashed together with Harold and Maude to the soundtrack of a Benny Hill sketch minus any semblance of fun you would expect from a "comedy." Here is a smattering of the type of "jokes" from this movie
- Old woman with a suitcase full of canned pineapple chunks
- Old woman with suitcase full of bleach and cleaning supplies
- Eating too much at breakfast
- Old woman doing something stupid like buying a guy from a van and not realizing that is a bad idea
- Grown man in diapers
- Mother talking about her son's "equipment" while showing his girlfriend baby pictures
- Grown man giving another grown man a swirlie
- Threats of spanking from an old woman
- Bed wetting
You're still here? Wow that is dedication because I almost quit. Besides most of the "jokes" on that list not being funny, there are a few that are pretty sexual. When Sly picks his mother up at the airport, a stewardess says "You looked sexy in Pampers," while flashing some major "Do ME" eyes. Ummmmm what? You want to bang a toddler, lady? Someone wrote this in the script, there were several layers of review, it was rehearsed, filmed and edited. Not sure how that happens without anyone stopping and clarifying the studio's stance on pedophilia. Speaking of weird sexual attractions, I have to talk about Sly and Estelle's romance. Yes, a mother and her son.
At times I had to stop and ask myself whether this was a buddy comedy, a rom-com or a sick form of torture. I honestly thought Sly and Estelle were going to get it on at the end. There is even a scene where he chases her through that airport that seems like it was lifted shot for shot from "She's All That" or something. Estelle Getty, who I've never seen in anything else, is horrific. Sly can't act but there were things he did in this that were funny. Every time she came on screen, I felt angry. I jotted down the following notes:
- "I hate her"
- "I hate her face"
- "Will someone shoot her"
- "I still can't stand her face."
I have no one to blame but myself for this movie watching experience(as is the case for this entire year). I heard how bad it was and I still went on with watching it. I know I said when I started this journey I wanted to avoid skewering movies because I think it's cheap, but I mean there is nothing good you can say about this. Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT WASTE ANY TIME WATCHING THIS MOVIE. The best parts of the movie are:
"Stop! Or my mom will shoot!"
(Yes that is an actual line of dialogue spoken by Sly Stallone.)
(Best scene of the movie)
TRIVIA: (According to IMDB)
Estelle Getty refused to do this movie if there were going to be any guns in it. The producers lied to her and said there were none so she signed on. I don't know how you think that's possible when the word shoot is in the title.